I got a D+??

Funny Tommy Boy Clips -

I think the first 50 seconds of this clip sums it up. Yes indeed, faithful readers, I have passed. How do I feel? Well, I think the best of the British Invasion of the 1960s sums that up on my playlist thing.

I know you're all thinking, "Why hasn't Ben updated his blog in so long?" and "I can't survive any longer if Ben doesn't post on his awesome blog." etc. etc. Well wait no more ye faithful followers, I have returned.

As it turns out, there are these tests called 'prelims' in my program that one must pass before he or she is able to begin his or her dissertation. Testing material for prelims consists of four years of course work and an an article list of 200 articles. Preparation for these tests consumed my life for about 2 months. My family suffered, my work suffered, but worst of all, you, my blog readers suffered--waiting in agony for the next post. I hope you accept my sincerest apologies.

Ok, so the first portion is the oral testing. This is where the professors in my program grilled me on articles from the list and I had to come up with material to show I had read them. It was intense, but I passed that portion.

The next section was the essay portion. This consisted of one essay question from each of the five professors in my program. This took all day long. Literally from 8 until 5. Ben Springer, my faithful friend and companion throughout this process, was done by 3:45, but not being as cognitively gifted, I took the full 9 hours. Although there were a few speed bumps along the way, like learning that I don't really know the legalities of the American Psychiatric Association's Code of Ethics, I passed. And like Thomas Callahan III, I too likely earned a D+, and that is just fine by me. I now have only one hoop remaining before you--every last one of you--will refer to me as Dr. Benjamin Bruce Belnap. I will accept no other title. Maybe Dr. Ben--like when really pretentious MDs or PhDs try to keep it real. Like, "Hey, I'm cool. We're buds--but don't forget I'm a doctor along the way, you worthless piece of crap."

Yes, if only those playground bullies could see me now. Yeah, maybe I still look a little sickly. Yeah, perhaps I still enjoy a good game of hopscotch and jumprope with the girls. But after a mere four years in graduate school, I am only a dissertation away--one year at the very soonest--from being a doctor--a fake doctor...you know the PhD kind. That'll show them. Now if you could excuse me, I need to go hold my pillow tightly and weep for awhile. I'll be ok. Don't worry about me. I love graduate school. I'm so glad I did this. No regrets. Why are you looking at me like that? I said I have no regrets...now leave me alone!