A good question. I have been married for five years now and am quite "out of the game", as they call it. Of course by saying I am only "out of the game", I am implying that there was a time in my life when was in said "game." That is somewhat misleading. As can be clearly seen above (a picture taken at my job about 20 seconds ago), I am not a "lady killa," "playa," "balla," nor any other noun with a single 'a' in place of the 'er'.
However, there is one thing going for me in the positive direction. What I lack in good looks and impressive physique, I make up in parallel parking skills. It drives Jamie, my dear wife, crazy that I always brag about it. In fact, she hopes and prays that there are no parallel spots available when we are looking for a spot because she has to listen to me brag about it. Well, there's one thing she doesn't have to do when we find a spot...that is wait for me to take several stabs at parking then give up. If the spot can possibly fit my car with 6 inches on either side, you'll be walking to your final destination within seconds. Well the other day I was at the Gateway in Salt Lake City (I thought I'd specify for all you out-of-state readers I have out there...I sometimes read this blog when I'm outside of the beehive state.). Anyway, the Gateway was quite crowded so I had to resort to the parallel spots on the street to the west of the mall (500 W.). I found a tight spot and was parked within seconds, naturally, but on my way to the mall, something caught my eye. A person in a gray sedan was struggling mightily trying to squeeze into a spot. I slowed down and watched traffic build behind the driver, but the driver was persistent on getting in. So I thought I would do society a favor.
I walked over to the car and tapped on the window. The window rolled down to reveal a young lady probably in her early twenties. She looked a little weirded out (see picture above), but before she could get too nervous, I said, "Can I help you park your car?" Turns out, she got a little more nervous...understandably. I said, "Really, I'm an excellent parallel parker." She turned to her friend, another young lady in her early twenties, gave her a shrug, looked at the line up of cars behind her, and said, "Sure." She and her friend got out of the car, and I worked my magic. Though it was a clutch I wasn't used to, I was able to get into the space in one try, obviously, and shut the car off, got out, and gave her the keys. She said, "Thanks a lot," to which I replied, "no problem."
I walked off and got about ten feet away when I heard the driver over my shoulder, "So I guess you want my number, right?" I turned around and casually replied, "No thanks, I'm married. Just wanted to use what skills I have to make the world a better place. Take care." And I was off like a phantom in the night.
So the moral of the story is, if a guy like me, who has been so out of touch for so long and was never really in touch in the first place, can get someone to offer their number for successfully parallel parking their car, there is hope for all of you who want an easy way to get digits. By the way, do they still call them "digits"? Better question: did they ever call them "digits"? Good luck out there, fellas. There are many fine-lookin' ladies just waiting to have their cars parallel parked.
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