Monday, March 17, 2008

Bitter love...

Part One:
Hi there. I'm a little hesitant to approach this week's topic in Earth Glue, but I feel that it's necessary. I recently met up with an old friend I hadn't seen in several years. A good man, Will Daines. He's in medical school at Columbia. Smart as a whip, that Will. Anyway, he was talking about how he had just ended a relationship and was feeling down about it. The first question I asked him was what, I thought, would have been the first question anyone would have asked in that situation, "Have you been drowning your sorrows in bitter love songs?" He looked at me very strangely and I began my lecture on the healing process and music's pivotal role in it. There we sat, my wife Jamie, Will, and I in a quaint Greenwich Village cafe (actually it was a McDonald's on Times Square, but doesn't the former sound more appropriate for the occasion?).

I put my arm delicately around my dear wife, whom I love deeply (and I am not speaking facetiously here), and I said, "Listen, Will, I love being married. The only thing I do not like about being happily married is that bitter songs of heartbreak no longer carry the same weight." It is true. When you're on your way home and Dashboard Confessional comes on the radio, it's hard to get too into it when your wife is going to greet you with a kiss in five minutes, and you, in turn, are really excited to see her. But, alas, I love bitter songs of heartbreak. I don't know why. I think it's because you can really feel the despair in the music. You really feel like the band is putting their all into it. I love that.

I offer the question: is it okay for me to still love this type of music in my situation, or should I grow up and move on? I don't know. For now, I will revel in the heartfelt tones of heartbreak music.

Part Two:

I just got an email from my dad. I hate forwards. No, I loath forwards. But he forwarded me some "put-downs with class" email. He doesn't generally forward things to me, so I actually read this particular forward. It was pretty good. A lot of Winston Churchill quotes. He was quite witty. Anyway, the point of the email was that put-downs used to have class rather than just telling someone to f-off or whatever. I liked it. It got me thinking about music. You know, in the good old days there were some great bitter songs, but classy ones. I like the new ones, too, but man could Bob Dylan and Willie Nelson put together a good bitter tune.

So I focus tonight on the greatest bitter/pathetically sad heartbreak songs out there. I'll offer my favorites in no particular order. Some are classics like I previously mentioned, some are really sappy emo songs, but they all share the same passion in their delivery.

Wanting Her Again--Ben Kweller
The Best Deceptions--Dashboard Confessional
Don't Think Twice, It's Alright--Bob Dylan
She'll Come Back to Me--Cake
I Just Don't Think I'll Ever Get Over You--Colin Hay
The First Day of My Life--Bright Eyes
Pictures of You--The Cure
Waltz--Elliott Smith
Out To Get You--James
The Thanks I Get--Wilco
Mr. Brightside--The Killers
Bullet--Mason Jennings
Knives Out--Radiohead
Why Aren't You Here--Rhett Miller
Time To Move On--Tom Petty
Writing to Reach You--Travis
Red Red Wine--UB40
Fat--Violent Femmes
Why Bother--Weezer
Sad Songs and Waltzes--Willie Nelson

Ok, I was able to cut it to 21, but I can't go any further. If you're ever feeling down, check these songs out. You will want to cut yourself for awhile, but your overall recovery time will be much faster. I guarantee it. So, that said, I feature tonight's Earth Glue Song. It is the grandfather of all bitter heartbreak songs written by the master songwriter of all time.

When I spoke earlier of sophistication I thought of this song. Song for the Dumped by Ben Folds Five is good when it says, "Give me my money back, you bitch." You feel his pain, but where's the sophistication, the poetry? I hear 7th graders say stuff like that to each other in the hallway every day when I'm at work.

But Bob Dylan. Ah yes, the man can weave words. So sit back and enjoy a masterfully ironic, bitter, and hateful song of heartbreak. This song is called Don't Think Twice, It's Alright. You've probably heard it, but pay attention this time. It's pretty subtle at times, but this song has serious bite.


8 comments:

Chanda said...

Ben, I so agree. I deeply enjoy bitter love songs but being happily married really puts a damper on that enjoyment. So I find myself imagining things that could happen in my relationship to make the bitter love song apply. Not good. And why on earth didn't you mention James Blunt's Goodbye My Lover? That is a good bitter song. Tell Jamie to update her blog!

Ben said...

Chanda Brady. A pleasure to hear from you, truly. You know, every time Jamie goes to update the family blog she gets depressed because she doesn't like the way it looks. She has specifically told me she wants it to look more like yours but doesn't want to copy you. I sold her out just like that. I love that you imagine bad things happening in the relationship to make bitter songs more enjoyable. I do the same thing--yeah, not healthy at all. And I've haven't been too into James Blunt. That 'you're beautiful' business got to be too much for me, but I'll definitely check out that song. Thanks for the reference.

Unknown said...

Look, man, I love you, but I'm not totally feelin' Bob Dylan. I'm afraid I never will. Yeah he writes a good word or two, but that voice...its drives me friggin' bonkers!
Your "Bitter love song list" is righteous. I would add Led Zep's D'yer Mak'er, just cuz.
(Like you'll ever talk to me again anyway since I sorta dissed Dylan).

Ben said...

Hey, no big deal, Ben. By the way, have you heard the new Kelly Clarkston single? I think this one will be right up your alley!

Liz Findlay said...

Sweet list, ben. It almost made me wish I was 16 again so I could wallow in self-pity over silly boys Jamie laughs her head off about...might I add one song? Ben Fold's Five's "Smoke". That's a killer. Oh and Death Cab's "Title and Registration"... THE GLOVEBOX! Genius.
I think I'll turn that one on right now...

Unknown said...

Hey man, did Bob Dylan ever get as many votes on American idol? I didn't think so!
Now you can add Clay Aitken's hit, "I'm so bitterly upset about my androgynous relationship, I want to cry" to your list.

Annie and Juston said...

Ben,
This post really hit home for me. Especially since I am fortunate enought to have received one of your heartbreak songs c.d's. It is true. I listened, and I cried, and I gripped the steering wheel so I could get through the songs while driving in my car. :) By the way, I just sent you a forward and I did it before reading this post and hearing how disgusted they make you. But still read it because its funny.....

Ben said...

Annie, you deserved that list. And, yes, I got your forward. It was funny, and forwards are okay, don't get me wrong. It's just the ones like, "10 ways you know it's Monday" and "Kids say the darnedest things" and "Obama's a crazy muslim bomber because all muslims are bombers and his middle name's 'hussein' so he's definitely a terrorist". Those are the kinds of forwards. By the way, great blog of your own, but it wouldn't let me comment.