Saban Sabotaged...

"Yeah...we went 12-0, too...only we're from a real conference."

Thanks, Nick Saban, the biggest snake in sports. You were completely outcoached by a coach in a conference that has not achieved the status of "real." Congratulations. You just had it handed to you.

In 2004, there were 2 other unbeaten teams (USC & Auburn), so you couldn't make a case for Utah being #1. This year, however, there remains only one unbeaten team--a team who beat 4 teams in the top 25 including the team who spent the most time as #1 and whose only other loss was to Florida in the SEC championship game. I really think (and I don't think this is me being a homer) that Utah has a legitimate claim for a shared national championship like they did with LSU and USC in 2003. Until there's a playoff, though, we'll never really know who the national champions are...and that's pretty unfortunate.

Worst Commercial...EVER!!!

I'm not a negative person. I'm really not. However, I find that my last few posts have been somewhat negative and cynical. Trouble is, I feel the need to share with you one more cynical view I have...this one has to do with advertising. I quite possibly have seen the worst commercial ever in the history of advertising. Believe me, there are some bad ones, but this may take all. I have boycotted franchises such as Wendy's and Sears for some horribly cheesy commercials, but this may be worse.

I call this commercial "The Tricky Housewife." She's sneaky. See, we're supposed to think that she's really cooking and cleaning all the time like a good housewife should be doing...but guess what...SHE'S NOT. She's duped us all. See, she actually is using--brace yourself--glade plug-ins. Oh, you trickster! She had us going though.

Not only is this commercial nauseatingly cheesy, it also delays the feminist movement by about 35 years.

Desert Island: A New Version?

You know, people always like to play the game "Desert Island" or variations thereof. Basically, this game involves discussing which book/album/movie you would take with you if you were to be stranded on a desert island. I've played a million times--not really interesting anymore (for the record: East of Eden/Radiohead: The Bends/Shawshank Redemption).

I've decided there is a more interesting way to play: If you could send your #1 nemesis to a desert island, which book/album/movie would you send with them? Ahh, now this question is one worth pondering for a long long time. First, whom would I send? I've narrowed it down to three possible candidates:

Door #1: Josh Groban--This photo alone is almost enough to send him.


Candidate #2: Guy from CSI:Miami--the dramatic way he takes those shades off before whispering a poignant line like, "Now that's the definition of cold-blooded" should make him a shoe-in.

Third possibility: Sean Hannity. The 2008 election fueled my hatred for this man. Trouble is, my and your hatred is what fuels him, so he would be my third choice...I don't want to give him the satisfaction.

While the person to be sent is up for debate, the items they will be sent with are not debatable. I've spent a lot of time thinking about this. And with no runners-up, these are the items to be sent.

Book: Shane. I had to read this in 8th grade. 15 years later, the thought of the book alone makes me want to punch a hole in my wall. One review of this book calls it "emotionally stirring." I will agree with that...it definitely stirs emotion. In fact, it's the only thing that has ever stirred me so emotionally that I considered putting a bullet into my femoral artery.


Album: Chumbawamba-Tubthumper. Thank you, Ben Hardcastle, for not letting me buy this album in December of 1997. Am I proud that I considered buying it? Obviously not, but actually making the purchase is something you don't rebound from too easily. Hardcastle, your foresight has saved me some dignity, and I thank you.

Finally, I would send my #1 nemesis to the island with this movie:

You ever do something and wonder why you did it afterwords? Well I have. Namely when I watched this movie start-to-finish with my roommate seven years ago. Still, what seems like a life time removed from the situation, I see flashes of Vin Diesel dropping some fluorescent Japanese car into third gear to pass some unassuming buff guy with blond-tipped hair and the flashback sends me into extreme emotional instability. Having seen this movie, I feel, at some level, that I understand what living with post-traumatic stress disorder must feel like.

I would love to send Josh Groban or CSI: Miami guy off with these. But the irony is that those two men would probably enjoy the selections, which is exactly why I would send them in the first place. It's a vicious cycle, but can't a boy dream?

Yep.

Having a long, detailed post about the BYU--Utah game is probably really boring since most everyone knows how it turned out. So I'll just say that Jamie and I were there and it was really sweet--oh, and Austin Collie is a weanie. Now, it's off to the BCS!!!

Will Someone Please Punch Me in the Face?

Seriously. This is how I feel right now...and by the way, I'm the guy on the left. The guy on the right is Davis School District. "Hey Ben," they tell me, "We know you've got 1,000 assessments to finish that we're underpaying you to do but still pressuring you to finish in a timely manner, but we really need you to go to another all-day training."

"Um...ok," I cautiously reply, "But is it really important?"
"Oh yeah. Can't survive without this one."

So what is this crazy, insano mandatory, you're-fired-if-you-don't-go training?

Using the Internet.

That's right. That's the title of the training. We've learned invaluable tidbits of information all day that, they're right, I can't survive as a psychologist in the district without knowing. Things like: how to check your email, how to open an attachment, how to attach files to emails, how to search for things you might need, etc.

No doubt that to be successful in my job I need to be able to do these things. And if the year was 1995, and we were just being introduced to this...what is it...this 'world-wide web?', I would understand the need for this training. But the best part is that the instructors are 60-year-old women who keep referring to the internet as "the net" and the action we're doing is "surfing". Ahh, so new, so hip. I think I'm beginning to like this "information super-highway." But what about all that pornography? That's all there is on "the net" right? No? I can find useful things, too? Oh, but I'll get in trouble if I look up porn. Ok. Got it. Great training.

So I have to be really careful when I open "the email" and should limit my time on said "net". That's what I've learned in the last 8 hours. At least I have had access to this mysterious "web" throughout this training and have found plenty of ways to bide the time. In Davis District's defense, I am proof that tons of time can be wasted on the internet.

My life as a father has reached its pinnacle...

I was driving around with my daughter, five-year-old Anna, on Saturday running errands. I had one of the best albums to come out in the last ten years playing, "Hot Fuss" by the Killers. Out of the blue, Anna tells me, "You know, dad...I think the Killers are my favorite band, and I really like that name for a band." Come on. You can't script a conversation better than that. She went on to tell me that she likes "the song about Jenny ('Jenny Was a Friend of Mine'), but 'I've got soul, but I'm not a soldier' is my very favorite song." I thought that was very endearing, not to be some over-indulgent dad, but it was nice--perhaps even blog-worthy. So I've written about this song before, but I love it so much, and it's my daughter's favorite song now... so I've embedded a pretty cool acoustic version of "All These Things That I've Done", or according to Anna, "I've Got Soul, But I'm Not Soldier". Enjoy.

Faithful Readers: I have returned.

Yes, it's been awhile...well only like 6 months. I have decided to get back on the wagon. I got some comments from some long-lost friends and thought, you know, it wouldn't kill me to keep on this blogging business. Maybe it will help me keep in touch with some folks. Honestly, I have nothing monumental to say at this time, so I guess I'll post a really good song I've been digging lately. I discovered this guy Brett Dennen actually in May. I was waiting in line for a Mason Jennings show and saw this big guy with flaming long red hair just walking around. In fact, I wasn't sure if it was a guy or not. Anyway, tons of people kept jumping out of line to get their pictures taken with him/her. I asked my friend if he knew who it was and he didn't. Next thing we know, he's up there playing to open for Mason. And I'll tell you, he was way good. I've been digging him ever since. I actually thought he had a very unique, yet catchy sound.

Just to add a little validity to my saying that Brett's got a good sound, I must say that I am a pretty tough critic at concerts. I should be more open-minded, but for some reason it bothers me when people go to shows and brag about how 'indie' they are by dropping names of "incredible" artists they saw open for blah blah who you've probably never heard of because you're not hip in the music scene like they are. So that said, I would be surprised if his sound didn't catch your ear and tickle your fancy at a first listen. Of course, maybe you've all heard of him and have listening to him for years and I'm just late on the scene. Nonetheless, enjoy this song. It's a gem.